Rules, Rules, and  Hey Look, More Rules
by Cylant
Summary: A bunch of rules for Akatsuki members. Rated T for swearing and the possiblity of subjects meant to be understood by someone of their teen years or older. Please read and review!


So, I got this idea from a "Can you join Akatsuki?" Quiz I took. The answer included all these rules about joining Akatsuki, and I thought, "I wonder how many rules I can come up with for Akatsuki?" Thus, I am writing this. If you have more rules after, just comment with them and maybe I'll add them to the second chapter for you! Or not. It all depends.

Oh, by the way - Akatsuki came to me the other day... They said they wanna comment on my rules. ((Those bastards!))

_-Cylant does not own Naruto, not its characters. Such things belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Cylant only owns the random stories behind the rules and her own character! Thank you!_

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><p>Rules - #1 to #15<p>

**1. Be evil.**  
>Pein: How can the bad guys not be evil?<br>Cyl: Shuddup.

**2. Follow all Akatsuki Rules.**  
>Itachi: Shouldn't that be rule number one?<br>Cyl: Meh. Too bad.  
>Itachi: Yeah, but really. Switch them.<br>Cyl: Eh... no.  
>Itachi: *uses sharingan* SWITCH THEM.<br>Cyl: *unfazed* no. Deal with it. Or leave. I dun care.

**3. Do not have magnets anywhere near Pein.**  
>Cyl: I want a magnet. Then, I'll go stalk Pein.<br>Konan: What! No! Leave Pein alone - he's mine!  
>Cyl: Lady, I want to make him angry, not happy. No need for you to get all possessive.<br>Konan: H-  
>Cyl: Shuddup.<p>

**4. Do not replace Sasori's scrolls.**  
>Deidara: Hey, Cyl, got any loose scrolls? I need a few, un.<br>Cyl: Sorry no, Deidara. But if you find some, I suggest ones that summon Jell-O.  
>Deidara: Alright then, un. I'll be around later, un. *leaves*<br>Cyl: Dangit... I forgot to ask him... ((you'll discover the question later. Until then, wonder!))

**5. Don't talk to Hidan about other religions. It endagers your mental and physical well being. (meaning he'll kill you.)**  
>Cyl: Hey Hidan!<br>Hidan: What?  
>Cyl: I was going to annoy you by talking about other religions, but I decided not to... Mainly because I know very little about religion.<br>Hidan: Okay... o.0 *starts to walk away*  
>Cyl: WAIT! WAIT!<br>Hidan: WHAT!  
>Cyl: What are your thoughts on Hades?<br>Hidan: WHY THE HELL DOES IT MATTER YOU FUCKING - ((I'm just going to stop here, because it can only get worse when Hidan starts swearing...))

**6. Do not talk to Hidan (or Kakazu) about break-ups.**  
>Cyl: ...<br>Kakazu: Hey... You're still alive!  
>Cyl: SH! *whispers* He'll find me! *ducks behind a tree*<br>Kakazu: Can I go then?  
>Cyl: No.<br>Kakazu: Why not? *mutters* I'm not paid enough for this.  
>Cyl: I must know how to pronounce your name!<br>Kakazu: o.0 umm... It's like 'Kaa- Koo- Zoo'  
>Hidan: THERE SHE IS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND SACRIFICE YOU TO LORD JASHIN!<br>Cyl: THANKS KAKAZU! Oh, and I'm not paying you anything! Bye! *runs for her life*  
>Kakazu: By- WAIT, WHAT! YOU LITTLE! *helps Hidan chase her*<br>Cyl: SAVE ME SASORI!

((Side note / In my stories [they aren't up here yet, they probably won't be. all depends on if i actually write them at some point] 1. deidara is the character's best friend's boyfriend in one 2. sasori is her friend, though thinks she has a slightly mixed up impression of art 3. the leader holds her as a special assassin - so yeah. that might explain the whole asking sasori to help me thing... \\ End side note))

**7. Never replace Deidara's clay with play-doh or other such useless things.**  
>Cyl: *Turns* WHICH ONE OF YOU?<br>Hidan: *points at Kakazu*  
>Kakazu: *points at Hidan*<br>Cyl: Then you both get in trouble. *grins evilly and attacks them*  
>-a few minutes later-<br>Deidara: o.o; Nice job.  
>Cyl: Thank you.<p>

**8. Never feed Tobi anything sweet or containing sugar.**  
>Tobi: Candy?<br>Cyl: No.  
>Tobi: Cake? *confused*<br>Cyl: No.  
>Tobi: Pie? *sad*<br>Cyl: No.  
>Tobi: Chocolate? *near tears*<br>Cyl: No.  
>Tobi: But... but... TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! *starts sobbing*<br>Cyl: Right. Tobi is a very good boy, but he can't have sugary foods. *pets Tobi*  
>Tobi: *nods sadly*<p>

**9. Kisame and aquariums do not mix.**  
>Kisame: OMG, A FISH! I'll name that one Fishy 79.<br>Cyl: =.= How much longer? How many more fish can this place have?  
>Kisame: OMG, A FISH! I'll name that one Fishy 80.<br>Cyl: You already named that one Fishy 5.  
>Kisame: Really?<br>Cyl: Yeah.  
>Kisame: Well, then that fishy over there can be Fishy 80.<br>Cyl: Argh...

**10. Telling Kakazu to use Zetsu as a Christmas tree because it's cheaper is a no-no.**  
>Zetsu: What kind of idiot would suggest that.<br>Cyl: *whistles at random*  
>Zetsu: It was Cyl, wasn't it.=.=<br>Cyl: The Cyl is not here right now - Please leave a message.  
>Zetsu: WHAT THE FUCK?<br>Cyl: I don't know. What is the fuck?  
>Zetsu: O.O; err... well...<br>Cyl: I changed my mind, let's not have this conversation! *rushes away*

**11. (Incase you didn't notice this earliear) Don't tell Kakuzu you're not paying him when trying to get information from him.**  
>Kakazu: ... Did you really have to attack me and Hidan?<br>Cyl: Yup.  
>Kakuzu: Then pay me.<br>Cyl: Pfft. With what money?  
>Kakuzu: ... wtf?<p>

**12. Don't give Konan an oragami crane for her birthday.**  
>Cyl: *gives present*<br>Konan: WTF?  
>Cyl: Imma go hide now! *runs away*<p>

**13. Don't give Konan an oragami anything for any holiday or her birthday.**  
>-See above storyline-<p>

**14. If all else fails, making Sasori a sock puppet for his birthday is not a good idea.**  
>Cyl: I'm not even going to try this.<br>Sasori: I won't even ask.  
>Cyl: Good idea.<p>

**15. Don't tell Deidara his art sucks.**  
>Cyl: Hey, Deidara!<br>Deidara: Yeah, un?  
>Cyl: Um... un, right... ANYWAYS, Deidara, I've been told to tell you your art sucks!<br>Deidara: WHATTT! HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO SASORI AGAIN?  
>Cyl: Ehhehehe... You'll bever know. *kisses on cheek and runs away*<p>

Sasori: So...  
>Cyl: That NEVER gets old, you know?<br>Sasori: *smiles evilly* I know all too well, Cylant.

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><p>Let's Recap:<br>Be evil.  
>Follow the rules.<br>No magnets near Pein. (Cyl: It's tempting...)  
>No switching Sasori's scrolls.<br>Hidan doesn't want or need to hear about other religions.  
>Hidan and Kakuzu don't care to know about your break-ups.<br>Replacing Deidara's clay is not a good idea.  
>Tobi cannot have excessive amounts of sugar.<br>Kisame and aquariums do not go together.  
>Zetsu cannot be used as a christmas tree.<br>Never tell Kakuzu if you're not paying him.  
>Oragami Crane for Konan's Birthday = bad.<br>Origami present of some sort for Konan = no-no.  
>Sock puppet + Holiday + Sasori = no.<br>Telling Deidara his art sucks = no good.

**I think I can handle this!**


End file.
